You're Re-tah-ded.

My name is Little Monster and I officially love Massholes. (But I still hate the Red Sox). I had a lovely weekend with my cousin and her darling bf in Boston and the Cape. He cooked us the most amazing halibut ever on Friday night. I think I'm adding "Guy that can cook" to my list of things I need in a man, cause fella fulfilled me! My cousin insisted I post a "What if?" entry on a potential hook-up that wasn't. While we were wading in the water on Saturday, a very good looking Masshole asked me if I was Nicaraguan while he was playing football in the water. But it really sounded like "Yous looks like my friend's girlfriend's roommate. You Nik-a-raw-gwen?" I responded, No, I wasn't - and went back onto the sand where it was safe. He continue to pursue us in the water later in the afternoon and finally made his way over to us while we were basking in the sun. He also totally called me out on avoiding him while he was headed my way in the water. I liked that. This guy was a total stud. I mean that in a very literal way. He had a massive, HOT body and a gorgeous face. He looked like a Josh Hartnett on steroids and tan. I was very into it. Even my Uncle Bri commented on his body. It was an impressive piece of work. A few of his friends came over to join in on the conversation. One looked like Billy Bob from Varsity Blues and the other was a paver. An example of the conversation:

Paver: There's a lot of tough streets in Taunton.
My cous: Yea I know. There's a lot of crime in some areas.
Paver: No I mean literally. I'm a paver.

It was honestly like being in the middle of a scene from Good Will Hunting. I could go on forever on how hysterical this crew was. We made plans to meet up at the bar that night but it didn't work out. I saw him on the beach on Sunday and we played in the water a little and I even threw the football around with my hottie.

He and his friends were leaving early to go back home and he came over to bid me adieu. He didn't ask for my number. My cousin's bf was disappointed in how it went down. He yelled at me to run after him and kiss him good-bye, but I don't chase - I am the chased! Still. I would have liked to hook up with him. He had a body unlike any that I've SEEN in these parts.

It was such a relaxing weekend. What WASN'T relaxing was some late night texts from the Ex. He's in the hospital because he pulled both his shoulders out of place and he had to tell me. I hope he has lots of morphine because I won't be able to help him out this time around.