Heartbreak Hotel.

Last night I ended things with SMB. I can't tell you how sad I am. I'm genuinely bummed that it isn't going to work out. He won his basketball championship last night and I went out with him, Morgan*, Abs* and his basketball teammates. We had a great time. He got along great with my friends. We went back to my apartment and he dropped the bomb: "We're keeping this open, right?" - meaning our "relationship". I'm not the type of girl who can say things just to appease a guy. I coul dhave easily shrugged and agreed. Instead I told him I liked him and that I don't think I can just sleep with him and be casual anymore, not without my feelings getting hurt. He told me he liked me too but that he couldn't give me anything more. I understood. I don't know what I was looking to hear from him, but I didn't hear what I needed to feel better about the situation. He didn't leave my apartment until 3:30 in the morning. SMB didn't want to leave because he said that once he left, he was afraid he would never see me again. I could tell he was internalizing all of this and unsure of what to say. I know he has feelings for me, but I can't pretend that my feelings don't exist anymore. I had to end it before I got burned. It's funny how things come full circle. The first night we hooked up was on my living room couch - the same place where I told him it had to end.