Last night I got out of work early, warmed up last night's meal cooked by Lobsterman, popped open a Red Stripe and watched Pride and Prejudice. I was feeling great about life. Until I found Lobsterman's camera.
Okay now don't freak out. I didn't find any naked pics or anything. What I did find was worse. There were photos of us, of me - and then of her. The ex. Photos of them in Spain together, in Morocco together, in Vienna - amazing photos. The worst part was that I was completely enchanted by her. She looked so lovely and cool in every photo - she was someone I'd want to be friends with. I found myself not hating her - but thinking that they looked so happy together.
BFF* was on the phone with me while all this was happening and kept shouting, "STOP LOOOKING! STOP IT!!!" but I couldn't. I even watched a video of her and heard her voice - so now she's very real to me.
I have to say that this whole experience didn't bother me as much as it should have. I guess the thought of both of us on that camera - both of us being part of his life - is the strangest bit to deal with. I won't tell him I looked, it doesn't matter. And I don't know how I feel about seeing their past together. I still haven't quite sorted it out.
Though I am pretty jealous they've been to Marrakech. WTF. Who goes to Marrakech?!
I wonder how I compare to her. I wonder if I can.
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5 comments:
oh cut the crap and chill out.
you really need to stop worrying so much. he said he has strong feelings for you, not her. and he tried to start something in NYC for himself so he could be with you.
so, my advice...
CHILL OUT!
really.
oh males. they never get it.
lol. i know. we're a bunch of tards.
don't even think about comparing yourself to her, because there is no comparison.
bottom line: he's with you, not her. and there's a reason for that.
ok, that's pretty much what i said.
and you will listen to her just because she's a girl.
sooooooo not fair.
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