Minor Slip Up.

Sometimes it's hard for a red-blooded young woman to avoid disasters. Not that I had a disaster - just a minor blip in the radar. Friday night I went bowling for J9's* birthday. Let's just say I ended the night with a lucky strike thanks to her friend Cruz.* I always thought he was a cutie and very funny, but there's never been a fliration between us when we've hung out. After a few rounds of bowling we all went to a trashy bar outside the alley - and once Cruz and I started talking, things quickly lead to kissing. A lot. Like, two hours worth at the bar and outside the bar. To be honest, Lobsterman didn't pop into my head much. Maybe it was the beer, maybe it was my high off of kicking everyone's ass in bowling - but I ended up hopping in a cab to head to Brooklyn to spend the night with Cruz. But a funny thing happened on the way to his apartment. Lobster popped into my head. In fact, when we pulled up to his apartment, I looked at him and told him I couldn't come inside. He was definitely shocked. Instead I went back to Astoria and fell asleep in my own bed, alone.

I couldn't sleep that night or the next morning. This whole Lobsterman thing has me tormented. I don't feel guilty about kissing Cruz - he's a really fun guy who I'd normally be excited about if Lobster wasn't in the picture. But he is. And I can't hide the fact that something's changed. I'm not a taken woman, it's too soon for that. But it's obvious to me now that I have deep feelings for Lobsterman that I can't suppress. I mean - I actually backed out on a booty call for chrissakes. WTF!?!

The next morning I went on a walk to do some errands - and there was a package for me. It was from Lobsterman. Inside was a cute note on a postcard that read:

"Laura,

Here are some CDs I thought you'd enjoy. I really wanted to put them on mixed tapes but I coudn't find a walkman to send you. That'll be my next project.

Can't wait to see you.
xoxo"

I won't lie. Things in my heart make sense right now, but not in my mind. I'm conflicted. I don't know which one to follow, which one will hurt me more? To quote the incomprable Miss Kelly Clarkson, will this be beautiful, or just a beautiful disaster?