Heave ho.

I also forgot to mention that Bear is still legally married. He comes with baggage girls.

He separated from her this past summer and their divorce is almost official. After Bear's break up he fooled around with a bartender who worked at a strip club. I didn't judge at first. She has tried to cause some problems and recently Bear informed me that she has upgraded to stripper. He also told me that his friend and him got drunk and asked her for some pictures. Not pleased to hear that! Since the incident I have felt completely turned off. He claims that it meant nothing, but something still smells funny.

Why am I still with him you ask? I think I am because I don't want to be lonely. I like my daily texts from him. I like our friendship circle. And I loooovvvveee the sex. But I haven't put out since he told me about the pics.

I have this constant worry and paranoia because of Striptender. She is a hot mess.

The excitement between Bear and I has died down. I am not giddy about him anymore and I don't feel the same vibes from him. He has a lot working against him. He now has two jobs and he has horrible hours. I see him once a week where we hang out with friends and drink. We haven't gone on a date in a while! I understand that he has a busy schedule and responsibilities.

But.. I am young. I want to have fun. I want to be romanced. I need someone who has time for me. Bear is still figuring out what he wants. He calls me his girlfriend, but I don't feel like I am.

I think I know what I have to do...


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